


What's Been Lost (Can Never Return)

by Ravenia



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, M/M, Sometimes things happen, a bit of angst, teasing gone too far
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 23:35:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20804843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenia/pseuds/Ravenia
Summary: All that there is, is silence as they stare at the empty spot where their center had been before storming off.Or: Dongpyo and Minhee push Yohan too far; and Seungwoo finds out more about Yohan's childhood. [Oneshot]





	What's Been Lost (Can Never Return)

Silence.

All that there is, is silence as they stare at the empty spot where their center had been before storming off.

“I’ll go talk to him,” murmurs Seungwoo after a moment. “Dongpyo, Minhee - ” their leader sighs. “Just… just make sure you apologize.”

Dongpyo, pale and shaken and face streaked with tears, nods as he sniffles into Wooseok’s arms. The brunette tightens the hug quietly as words spill from the younger's lips. “I didn’t…we didn’t mean to -”

On the other side, Minhee stands uncharacteristically silent, his eyes fixated on the spot where Yohan had been. He wishes that he could have stopped himself from running his mouth off earlier. Wishes, wishes, wishes.

Why couldn’t he?

Why hadn’t he?

An arm curls around him, and he glances over to see Seungyoun looking at him seriously. “It’ll be okay, Minhee-ah.” The all-rounder says quietly.

_But you can't promise that_, Minhee wants to scream.

Seungyoun couldn’t promise that.

It’s the first time that he – _they_ – had seen Yohan so angry. No, beyond angry. _Furious_.

What had they done?

The blonde considers the older boy his role model of sorts, a great friend, an older brother. He cherishes their friendship, their bond.

Family.

What had _he_ done?

Minhee feels his legs collapsing beneath him, and he buries his head into his hands.

**XXXXX**

** _One week ago_ **

It had started off as a joke.

“Wow, Yohan-hyung, you’re really bad at this,” Minhee remarks as he looks at the number of cards in their center’s hands.

“Yeah, hyung,” adds Dongpyo who is holding 5 cards.

The three of them are playing UNO, and Yohan is losing.

Originally, it had been six of them – him, Minhee, Dongpyo, Hangyul, Eunsang and Dohyon. But Hangyul, Eunsang and Dohyon had went off to run an errand or something. Though, Yohan figures that it's more of them getting food than anything else, really.

The former athlete huffs and glances over at his cards. “Just you wait, I’ll win one of these days.”

The two snicker and chorus, “Yes, hyung.”

**XXXXX**

Another day, another game.

It’s Battleship this time, where the players had to guess the positioning of their opponent’s airships and take them all down.

Yohan loses.

Yohan loses, and the teasing continues. Yohan bears it with grace, quick to tease them back and gives it back as good as he gets.

But it’s slowly, oh-so-slowly becoming tiring.

**XXXXX**

The third time, it’s Monopoly.

He’s starting to dislike it.

Hate it, even.

Because -

They don't stop. They keep going and going and they're relentless and -

They just. Don't. Stop.

He starts to avoid them.

**XXXXX**

The fourth time, Junho and Hyeongjun rope him into it.

“Aw come on, Yohan-hyung, it’s been awhile you played with us,” complains Hyeongjun as he pouts.

“Yeah, hyung. Join us.”

Leaning against the wall, Yohan looks at his dongsaengs and stifles a sigh. He really, _really_ doesn’t want to. He’s sick and tired of all the teasing and constantly losing. All of it.

Because it’s not his fault that he didn’t know how to play games, know about them, or that he’s bad at them.

It isn’t.

But they didn’t know that. Didn’t know why.

And he couldn’t tell them why.

It’s a weakness, and there’s no room for weakness.

...Still, Junho and Hyeongjun are right. He hasn’t spent any time with them in awhile now, much less Minhee and Dongpyo when it comes to games.

Reluctantly, he agrees.

In hindsight though, he shouldn’t have.

Because this time, he snaps.

**XXXXX**

Not for the first time, Dongpyo and Minhee tease him about losing the game.

And the simmering flames of frustration and deep-seated anger reach their boiling point; chains holding his self-control in check broken down as he, for once, loses his calm and he stands up.

He stands up, and the board clatters to the floor.

“I’m done,” A glare crosses his face, and the center directs it at the pair who flinch. “I’m done with all these games. Don’t even _think_ about inviting me to play them if you’re just going to be like this every time.” He snaps.

And he storms off.

**XXXXX**

Dongpyo’s face is pale as he stares after his pseudo-brother leaving, realizing that he’s gone too far. Colour drains from Minhee’s face as for once, he has no words to say.

Everyone else is caught off-guard, stunned at what just happened.

Silence.

**XXXXX**

**Present**

Closing the door behind him, Seungwoo enters their room to see Yohan pacing and running a hand through his hair in frustration.

The former athlete takes a few deep breaths, trying to regain control of himself and his emotions.

So Seungwoo waits. Waits for him to realize his presence.

“Seungwoo-hyung?”

His voice is quiet now, a complete contrast to his earlier anger as he lifts his head up to see him.

Seungwoo sucks in a breath as he sees tear-filled eyes, crosses the room and pulls Yohan into a brief hug.

“Come on,” he murmurs, tugging the younger male to follow after him and to sit on the bed.

**XXXXX**

“What happened?” he finally asks.

Yohan leans into him, staring up at the ceiling and drawing comfort from his boyfriend wrapping an arm around his waist.

“I never did have a normal childhood,” the center admits softly after a moment. “I spent all my time training, you know? Competitions. Taekwondo exams. Studies.”

Seungwoo laces their fingers together as realization starts to dawn.

“Even my free time wasn’t much. I had to take care of my sisters too. Take them to school, make sure they come home safe. Cook for them when my parents weren’t around.”

A pause.

“So I never got around to playing games. Games like you and everyone else have. It’s always been taekwondo and studies and exams. But… but it’s not just that.”

He didn't like where this was going.

“I never got to learn how to swim. Things like that. Have a proper childhood – go out on field trips and just…explore everything that I was curious about. Instead, I grew up with expectations. Expectations on how to conduct myself, of being the eldest and helping the family, to continue what my family has always done – taekwondo.”

His voice quietens.

“I know it’s not their fault, that they’re just joking. They don’t know. But I just…snapped,” Yohan shrugs helplessly.

**XXXXX**

Seungwoo’s heart aches.

Because –

Because this explains _so much_.

How Yohan gets excited when toys and props are provided at fan-signs, how he finds a lot of things interesting and amusing, much like a curious child. How he is when it comes to certain things, like card games and current movies.

Impulsively, Seungwoo tugs him in closer, presses a kiss to his lips.

“Hyung?”

“I love you, Kim Yohan,” he murmurs. “More than you can ever imagine.”

Yohan flushes in embarrassment but his gaze softens and he smiles. It’s the smile that always, _always_ takes Seungwoo’s breath away and this time is no different.

“I love you too, Han Seungwoo.”

**XXXXX**

** _The next day_ **

Yohan is pouring himself a glass of water in the kitchen when he hears them.

“Yohan-hyung?”

He turns to see Minhee and Dongpyo standing in front of him, looking nervous. Their clothes are rumpled and they look tired – faces stained with tears.

The former athlete puts down his glass of water.

A few seconds pass.

“Come here,” he finally says, opening his arms.

Dongpyo is first, practically diving into his embrace before Minhee joins them and Yohan wraps his arms around them tight.

“We’re okay." 

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be pure adorable fluff but oops
> 
> comments are appreciated <3


End file.
